Is your relationship too good to leave, but too bad to stay? To make up or break up?
It’s an important decision. If you’re stuck, let me help. Marital distress is rampant. A survey of more than 6,500 psychologists revealed that, after anxiety and depression, the most commonly treated problems were marital and other relationship problems.
Below are some statements that can help you diagnose your relationship.
- We are not able to talk about things in a logical manner.
- Small issues suddenly become big for no apparent reason.
- It takes a long time to calm myself down after one of our fights.
- I doubt whether we can reconcile our differences.
- Things have gotten so complex and out of hand, I don’t know if there is a solution.
- There is little respect in this relationship.
- Sometimes I feel bitter about how things have gotten between us.
- Talking with my partner only seems to make things worse.
- I don’t get any recognition or appreciation.
- We spend a lot of our free time apart.
If you have one or more of the above thoughts, your relationship may need professional help.
Couples that devote an extra six hours per week to their marriage can improve their marriage over the years, according to John Gottman, author of Why marriages Succeed or Fail: and How You Can Make Yours Last.
PARTINGS– Before these couples say goodbye every morning, they find out one thing that each is going to do that day. (2 minutes x 5 days = 10 minutes)
REUNIONS – At the end of each workday, these couples have a low-stress reunion conversation. (20 minutes x 5 days = 1 hour, 40 minutes)
AFFECTION – Touching, grabbing, holding, and kissing – all laced with tenderness and forgiveness. (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)
ONE WEEKLY DATE – Just the two of you in a relaxed atmosphere, updating your love. (2 hours once a week)
ADMIRATION AND APPRECIATION – Every day, genuine affection and appreciation is given at least once. (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)
STATE OF THE UNION MEETING – Dr. Gottman’s research revealed that spending just one hour per week discussing areas of concern within the relationship has shown to transform the way partners manage conflict. (1 hour once per week)